“So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. ”
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Truth: Studies into allegations of sexual abuse have repeatedly shown that false reports of abuse are rare. Victims generally have little to gain from reporting clergy abuse, as support for victims of clergy abuse is low, and most cases are never prosecuted. While care should be taken to verify abuse allegations, it is far more likely that a woman is telling the truth than that she is inventing a story for attention.
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Truth: It is extremely dangerous to assume that abuse stops merely because a particular victim is no longer available. Like other abusers, predatory church leaders usually abuse more than one person at a time. Furthermore, when one victim leaves, the abuser usually moves on quickly to another. The end result may be multiple victims over a decade or more from one abusive church leader.
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Truth: Confronting an abuser can be extremely dangerous for a victim. Abusers usually attempt to punish and discredit any victim who comes forward. This is especially true in a church environment in which a pastor’s job depends on maintaining his reputation. Retaliation and even ex-communication are common results of attempts to confront abusive church leaders.
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Truth: Abusers can appear charming and deeply spiritual. They are also usually highly selective about their victims. Different people in the church may have very different experiences of the same pastor. He may be kind and respectful to most of the congregation, while also secretly abusing one or two particularly vulnerable individuals.
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Truth: The tragedy of clergy abuse is that abusive church leaders almost always choose victims who are sincere in faith and eager to obey God. A victim who is truly committed to the church has a strong motivation to overlook abusive behavior and keep quiet. Abusive clergy may take advantage of this vulnerability.
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Truth: Just as an abused wife may defend and cover for an abusive husband, an abused parishioner may defend and cover for an abusive pastor. Abuse victims may do so out of fear of retaliation. Also, abusive church leaders usually blame their victims for the abuse. Many victims accept this blame for a while, and may even believe that they are completely at fault for the church leader’s cruel behavior. It often takes years for them to work through the guilt and make a decision to come forward.
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Truth: Sexual predators are motivated primarily by greed for power and control. Since lust is not the main motivating factor, dressing modestly has no impact on a sexual abuser’s behavior. Furthermore, sexual predators are adept at manufacturing opportunities to abuse. Sexual abuse victims are overwhelmingly abused by someone they know, and often in a place they believed safe. Same-sex abuse is also more common than most church communities believe.
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Truth: Sadly, most churches do not have any policies in place about how abuse complaints should be handled. This leads to widespread confusion when a victim comes forward. Many victims are told to work the problem out themselves, or they are simply ignored. They may even be slandered, bullied, or ex-communicated.
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Truth: Most victims of abuse in Presbyterian churches are never able to file charges due to poor understanding of the ecclesiastical court system. Even when abuse cases are reported and properly filed, it can take years for a case to be heard. Most victims are unable to pursue their cases due to lack of money and time off work for dozens of out-of-state meetings. The Presbyterian system needs reform to be able to handle abuse complaints in an effective manner.
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Truth: While it can be discouraging to see abuse surface in so many churches, there are many pastors who never abuse congregants. Many pastors sincerely seek to protect and help abuse victims. There are also many churches that support and assist abuse victims who come forward.
What is Clergy Abuse?
Clergy abuse happens when a pastor, elder, or anyone else in a position of church authority uses his position to bully, intimidate, and/or exploit someone in his care. Like any other form of abuse, the root of clergy abuse is greed for power and control. Clergy abuse tends to be more subtle than domestic violence, and yet many victims report that abuse by church leaders results in more long-term harm than they experience from domestic violence.Clergy abuse is typically carried out against already-vulnerable people. A study conducted by Dr. David Pooler in 2015 found that 62% of survivors of clergy sexual abuse report that they were in counseling with their church leader when the abuse began. Victims of clergy abuse usually experience double victimization, as they are domestic violence or sexual assault survivors as well. The categories of clergy abuse follow much the same pattern as domestic violence. However, abusers in church leadership are more likely to employ Christian language and church social pressures to gain compliance from the victim. Some common expressions of clergy abuse include:1. Physical abuse: Although pastors and other church leaders rarely carry out direct physical violence (hitting, punching, slapping, etc), physical abuse may still occur indirectly. An abusive pastor may force a woman into a confrontation with her abusive husband, for example, knowing that this confrontation will likely result in violence. Denial of medical care and refusal to permit domestic violence victims to contact authorities may also be categorized as physical abuse.2. Emotional abuse: Victim-blaming, unjust criticism, and slander are often carried out in clergy abuse situations under the guise of “counseling” or “pastoral ministry.” An abusive pastors will isolate his victim and demand to be the sole authority in that person’s life. 3. Financial abuse: An abusive pastor (or other church leader) often has shady financial dealings with his victims—asking them for money, or demanding that they provide him with free labor for his personal gain. Since churches survive on volunteer work and donations, a victim may not at first perceive the requests to be abusive. Over time, however, the demands escalate until the abuse victim struggles to care for his or her own needs.4. Sexual abuse: An abusive church leader may engage in molestation or assault of his victims—often after building a trusting relationship in counseling. However, sometimes sexual abuse is not as direct. An abusive pastor may to demand unnecessary sexually explicit information of his victims and prescribe sexual activity, or he may encourage a woman’s husband to sexually assault her. 5. Spiritual abuse: All clergy abuse is spiritual abuse, and it has profoundly negative consequences on the faith and trust of victims. Abusive pastors, elders, and counselors misuse Scripture to manipulate and bully their victims. They often use church discipline, or the threat of church discipline, to control their victims, and to discredit them if they attempt to make a complaint. 6. Stalking: An abusive church leader may use spiritual authority and the need for “accountability” to stalk and harass victims. This may include demands for inappropriately intimate confession or invasive details about personal activities. Sometimes victims of clergy abuse report that their former pastor tried to prevent them from leaving the church by calling other churches they tried to attend and passing on slanderous information about them.Church leaders who engage in clergy abuse are often charming and likeable on the surface. They gain the trust and sympathy of victims, often by offering spiritual encouragement in difficult life situations. However, the tables will gradually begin to turn. The abusive church leader will gradually demand more and more of the victim, while criticizing and bullying (disguised as pastoral counsel). Victims feel they must comply in order to please God. They may also be threatened with church discipline or even ex-communicated if they do not comply.Clergy abuse has the potential for devastating impact on the life of a victim. Yet it is one of the least prosecuted crimes, and victims often face a profound lack of church support when they attempt to find help. The 2015 Pooler study found that only 9% of clergy sexual abuse victims found the church helpful to them, and less than 5% of cases were ever prosecuted. Reportedly, only 7% of churches even had a policy in place to deal with abuse cases.This lack of support for victims has negative consequences for churches as well. Church leaders who remain in authority typically continue their abusive patterns for years, leaving a long trail of victims over the course of decades, and seriously damaging the peace, purity, and unity of Christ’s church. Abusive leaders also create legal hazards for churches, since churches may be held accountable for the harmful actions of a leader, especially if no policies exist to prevent it.The Presbyterian Advocacy Coalition offers support to victims of clergy abuse by providing referrals, resources, and support. We also offer advocacy for survivors who may wish to file complaints or charges of sin against an abusive leader. We are sometimes able to offer defense counsel for victims who are unjustly placed under church discipline.The Presbyterian Advocacy Coalition also supports church leaders who want to make a safer environment for parishioners by putting safeguards in place and setting policies for dealing with abuse reports. We believe that response to clergy abuse must be prompt, strong, and compassionate. Unnecessary delays, weak responses, and victim-blaming serve only to compound the harm.